I decided for this post to write about a subject near and dear to my heart: my rabbits Tia and Coco. People don't realize how much personality bunnies have, and these two certainly have characters of their own!
Our older bunny, Tia, is a Netherland Dwarf. She is black with a white underbelly and a little white heart surrounding her nose. She is about 6 years old and feisty as anything. She certainly loves her treats, although sometimes she is finicky. I have seen her turn her nose up at the treat and I have had to go to a different one..but she eventually takes it. Tia loves to run around with newspapers on her head. We will see her burrow under a paper and start running around with it. She also has a hamster ball that she will push with her nose. The hamster ball was originally belonged to a hamster named Harvey that we had. When he passed, she kept playing with it. Tia most certainly does not like baths! We will start running water and she will start digging at her cage to try to escape, and when we do catch her she starts grunting...not a happy bunny at all. But she does enjoy having her head patted, to the point that if you stop, she looks at you like, "Hey! I didn't tell you to stop."
Our other rabbit, Coco, is a nice brown color...she looks just like one of those chocolate Easter bunnies. Hence the name! Coco is about 2-3 years old. She is super chill, super mellow. She doesn't scare easily. We will be putting her cage back together and she'll be jumping in and out. She's super curious..whatever we are doing, she has to check out. She sniffs pant legs and anything she's interested in. Her hobbies include destroying boxes ('Destructa bunny'), building nests with blankets, and couch jumping!
Well, this is a very brief review of life with my two bunnies.
Wednesday, May 11, 2016
Wednesday, April 20, 2016
Conflict Averse...
Well, it happened again to me. Somehow found myself in an argument with a coworker today and wound up in tears. Much of this has to do with the fact that the work load is very light right now and so we're not getting as many hours. It is affecting her big time, and I feel bad that it is. But when I tried to suggest a way to help her get more hours, that's when it turned into an argument. But I don't want to go into the argument or anything like that because it doesn't need to be aired over the Internet. What I'm more interested in is why I react so badly to conflict.
It has always been this way for me. Anytime somebody is critical or snaps at me, I take it personally. It literally feels like I've been slapped across the face and across the heart. The emotional pain is so strong that it becomes physical and I am then no good for a while. It drives me crazy that I can't just be one of those people who can get into a confrontation and then have it roll off like water on a duck's back. No! I have to cry for a long time, get the lovely red eyes and runny nose and make a spectacle of myself.
Part of my problem is that I don't speak up right away when things bother me--I call it 'ignoritis'...hoping that if ignore the issue it'll go away. Unfortunately, it almost never goes away and things keep building and then I wind up exploding into tears. Sigh. I struggle with wondering if, as a Christian, I am allowed to stick up for myself. Where's the line between defending oneself and being selfish. This is a big struggle for me, I think I'll always have it. Not much else to say...I guess maybe that's the thorn God gave me that I keep asking to be removed-the apostle Paul experienced this too:
"And because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, for this reason, to keep me from exalting myself, there was given me a thorn in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to buffet me--to keep me from exalting myself! Concerning this I entreated the Lord three times that it might depart from me. And He has said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness. Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast of my weaknesses, that the power of Christ may dwell in me." (2 Corinthians 12:7-9
I pray that perhaps my struggle may be of some use to anyone else fighting these issues. One thing is for certain: human relationships are never easy. I guess I need to try to 'mend the bond torn by pride.' a line from the movie Brave.
It has always been this way for me. Anytime somebody is critical or snaps at me, I take it personally. It literally feels like I've been slapped across the face and across the heart. The emotional pain is so strong that it becomes physical and I am then no good for a while. It drives me crazy that I can't just be one of those people who can get into a confrontation and then have it roll off like water on a duck's back. No! I have to cry for a long time, get the lovely red eyes and runny nose and make a spectacle of myself.
Part of my problem is that I don't speak up right away when things bother me--I call it 'ignoritis'...hoping that if ignore the issue it'll go away. Unfortunately, it almost never goes away and things keep building and then I wind up exploding into tears. Sigh. I struggle with wondering if, as a Christian, I am allowed to stick up for myself. Where's the line between defending oneself and being selfish. This is a big struggle for me, I think I'll always have it. Not much else to say...I guess maybe that's the thorn God gave me that I keep asking to be removed-the apostle Paul experienced this too:
"And because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, for this reason, to keep me from exalting myself, there was given me a thorn in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to buffet me--to keep me from exalting myself! Concerning this I entreated the Lord three times that it might depart from me. And He has said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness. Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast of my weaknesses, that the power of Christ may dwell in me." (2 Corinthians 12:7-9
I pray that perhaps my struggle may be of some use to anyone else fighting these issues. One thing is for certain: human relationships are never easy. I guess I need to try to 'mend the bond torn by pride.' a line from the movie Brave.
Thursday, April 14, 2016
A Trip Down Memory Lane...
Lately I've been streaming the late 80s/early 90s sitcom 'Saved By the Bell.' I will admit that it is a bit cheesy but I have to admit that I still love that show. It featured cute guys that every girl wanted to date and pretty girls that every girl wanted to be. I admit that I wished I could go to that school and be a part of the gang of Zach, Kelly, Slater, Jessie, Lisa and Screech. Even the principal Mr. Belding was appropriately authoritative and the right amount of dorky. I enjoyed living in this world where there was no real bullying, no drug or alcohol abuse, and everything turned out hunky dory in the end. Yes, it glossed over serious issues but it was a great escape.
However, looking back on this, I realize that there is no way I would have been a part of that crowd. I was always a little odd. I had plenty of friends, but in no way was I in the 'popular' group. Music, not sports, was my thing and that didn't exactly make you Miss Popular. But having chorus or orchestra first thing in the morning was the best way to start my days. It made suffering through gym class almost worth it.
No, Windham was a far cry from Bayside High School. But as I've gotten older I've realized a couple things:
First, I got to do some amazing things with the music program at Windham. I played viola in the orchestra and got to play in a music competition in Orlando (we took 2nd out of 5) and also got to play on a rising stage in Disney World. That was incredible--I remember that we played the Pink Panther Theme as the stage rose up. Then, with the Windham Chamber Singers, I got to sing at the White House, shake hands with President Clinton, and go to New York to sing in Carnegie Hall. As much as I enjoyed living vicariously through the Bayside gang's adventures, my real life was even better. Funny how different things look as time goes by.
However, looking back on this, I realize that there is no way I would have been a part of that crowd. I was always a little odd. I had plenty of friends, but in no way was I in the 'popular' group. Music, not sports, was my thing and that didn't exactly make you Miss Popular. But having chorus or orchestra first thing in the morning was the best way to start my days. It made suffering through gym class almost worth it.
No, Windham was a far cry from Bayside High School. But as I've gotten older I've realized a couple things:
First, I got to do some amazing things with the music program at Windham. I played viola in the orchestra and got to play in a music competition in Orlando (we took 2nd out of 5) and also got to play on a rising stage in Disney World. That was incredible--I remember that we played the Pink Panther Theme as the stage rose up. Then, with the Windham Chamber Singers, I got to sing at the White House, shake hands with President Clinton, and go to New York to sing in Carnegie Hall. As much as I enjoyed living vicariously through the Bayside gang's adventures, my real life was even better. Funny how different things look as time goes by.
Friday, April 8, 2016
A coworker asked me this week how many books per week I read. I gave her a vague answer because I'm not really sure how many books I read in a week.This got me thinking that it would be interesting to track my reading just so I could get an idea of how much I read and to track any patterns in my reading. In my daily reading log I've been writing down everything I read, with some exceptions: I don't count Facebook posts. That would just overcomplicate things and I'd never keep track of it all. But I include my daily Bible reading and my devotional, and I include the daily Portland Press Herald. I include any reading I do for pleasure or for enlightenment.
What, you might ask, am I currently reading? Here's a sampling.
The Wild Girl by Kate Forsyth. This is a fascinating novel about the Grimm brothers and one girl, Dortchen Wild, who was a source for some of their fairy tales. The novel is written much like a fairy tale, and is fascinating. I haven't gotten too far into it yet, but I'm so looking forward to the rest of it. This novel is to be savored, like a fine wine or gourmet chocolate.
She's Not There by Joy Fielding. A page turner so far. The story of a woman whose 2 year old daughter went missing, presumably kidnapped, and never found. Fifteen years later, a young lady contacts her claiming to be her missing daughter. As cliche as it sounds, it's gripping reading.
The Girl Who Came Home by Hazel Gaynor. A historical novel about the Titanic and a young woman who survives. This does a good job of explaining how people must have felt as they were boarding the ship and getting ready to come to America.
Doctor Zhivago by Boris Pasternak. The classic Russian novel set during the time of the Russian revolution of 1919. It is one that I have meant to read for years and am now just getting around to. It reads an awful lot like Tolstoy's War And Peace. Sometimes I need the challenging stuff so I know that my brain is still working!
And that's a sampling of what I like to read. Either way, the pleasure of reading helps me escape from my problems and helps me get over myself.
What, you might ask, am I currently reading? Here's a sampling.
The Wild Girl by Kate Forsyth. This is a fascinating novel about the Grimm brothers and one girl, Dortchen Wild, who was a source for some of their fairy tales. The novel is written much like a fairy tale, and is fascinating. I haven't gotten too far into it yet, but I'm so looking forward to the rest of it. This novel is to be savored, like a fine wine or gourmet chocolate.
She's Not There by Joy Fielding. A page turner so far. The story of a woman whose 2 year old daughter went missing, presumably kidnapped, and never found. Fifteen years later, a young lady contacts her claiming to be her missing daughter. As cliche as it sounds, it's gripping reading.
The Girl Who Came Home by Hazel Gaynor. A historical novel about the Titanic and a young woman who survives. This does a good job of explaining how people must have felt as they were boarding the ship and getting ready to come to America.
Doctor Zhivago by Boris Pasternak. The classic Russian novel set during the time of the Russian revolution of 1919. It is one that I have meant to read for years and am now just getting around to. It reads an awful lot like Tolstoy's War And Peace. Sometimes I need the challenging stuff so I know that my brain is still working!
And that's a sampling of what I like to read. Either way, the pleasure of reading helps me escape from my problems and helps me get over myself.
Monday, April 4, 2016
Killing the Truth
I just finished watching the National Geographic special, "Killing Jesus". I would retitle it "Killing the Truth". Now, I realize that this comes from a liberal organization, but I thought at least they would actually use the Biblical accounts without twisting the text around! But not so much.
When we first see Jesus calling His disciples, it seems as though He asks the disciples if they would like to join Him. Matthew 4:18-22 says, And walking by the Sea of Galilee, He saw two brothers, Simon who was called Peter, and Andrew his brother, casting a net into the sea; for they were fishermen. And He said to them, "Follow Me, and I will make you fishers of men." And they immediately left the nets, and followed Him. And going on from there He saw two other brothers, James the son of Zebedee, and John his brother, in the boat with Zebedee their father, mending their nets, and He called them. And they immediately left the boat and their father, and followed Him." (Emphasis mine). It doesn't sound like he asked them, it sounds more like He commanded them with some authority because they immediately followed Him, even leaving their father behind.
Another problem with this film...at one point in the film Jesus tells a jeerer that "To know love is to know God." The Bible doesn't record Jesus as ever using those words! So now they are putting words in Jesus mouth! John records in Revelation, "I testify to everyone who hears the words of the prophecy of this book: if anyone adds to them, God shall add to him the plagues which are written this book; and if anyone takes away from the words of the prophecy of this book, God shall take away his part from the tree of life and from the holy city, which are written in this book." Rev. 22:18-19. I suppose John could just be referring to Revelation itself and not the whole Bible, but I don't think it's bad interpretation to assume that this applies to the whole Bible. I don't think God would want us putting words in His mouth.
The last point I want to discuss is the fact that during the crucifixion scene, the Bible records that there were two thieves hanging on either side of him. The film depicted Christ as being the only one crucified. I just find it hard to believe that there would not have been other executions going on at the same time. Also, the minute Jesus dies He whispers "It is finished" and everything goes silent. The Bible records that, "And Jesus cried out again with a loud voice, and yielded up His spirit. And behold, the veil of the temple was torn in two from top to bottom, and the earth shook; and the rocks were split, and the tombs were opened; and many bodies of the saints who fallen asleep were raised." Matthew 27:50-52 The film depicts none of this, it doesn't even show the sky going dark after His death! They really missed the boat with this.
I just felt the need to write about this because I am sure many people watched this special and assumed that what was depicted was what actually occurred. However, I will stick with the Biblical version of events, rather than a human interpretation of those events.
When we first see Jesus calling His disciples, it seems as though He asks the disciples if they would like to join Him. Matthew 4:18-22 says, And walking by the Sea of Galilee, He saw two brothers, Simon who was called Peter, and Andrew his brother, casting a net into the sea; for they were fishermen. And He said to them, "Follow Me, and I will make you fishers of men." And they immediately left the nets, and followed Him. And going on from there He saw two other brothers, James the son of Zebedee, and John his brother, in the boat with Zebedee their father, mending their nets, and He called them. And they immediately left the boat and their father, and followed Him." (Emphasis mine). It doesn't sound like he asked them, it sounds more like He commanded them with some authority because they immediately followed Him, even leaving their father behind.
Another problem with this film...at one point in the film Jesus tells a jeerer that "To know love is to know God." The Bible doesn't record Jesus as ever using those words! So now they are putting words in Jesus mouth! John records in Revelation, "I testify to everyone who hears the words of the prophecy of this book: if anyone adds to them, God shall add to him the plagues which are written this book; and if anyone takes away from the words of the prophecy of this book, God shall take away his part from the tree of life and from the holy city, which are written in this book." Rev. 22:18-19. I suppose John could just be referring to Revelation itself and not the whole Bible, but I don't think it's bad interpretation to assume that this applies to the whole Bible. I don't think God would want us putting words in His mouth.
The last point I want to discuss is the fact that during the crucifixion scene, the Bible records that there were two thieves hanging on either side of him. The film depicted Christ as being the only one crucified. I just find it hard to believe that there would not have been other executions going on at the same time. Also, the minute Jesus dies He whispers "It is finished" and everything goes silent. The Bible records that, "And Jesus cried out again with a loud voice, and yielded up His spirit. And behold, the veil of the temple was torn in two from top to bottom, and the earth shook; and the rocks were split, and the tombs were opened; and many bodies of the saints who fallen asleep were raised." Matthew 27:50-52 The film depicts none of this, it doesn't even show the sky going dark after His death! They really missed the boat with this.
I just felt the need to write about this because I am sure many people watched this special and assumed that what was depicted was what actually occurred. However, I will stick with the Biblical version of events, rather than a human interpretation of those events.
Thursday, March 31, 2016
Ah, another day. To continue my thoughts on being childless, I find it odd how I get alternately defensive to some people, and apologetic to others. I don't really owe it to anybody to have children, especially if I'm not suited for it and God has called me to other things. But there are definitely times that I feel guilty, especially when I see how exhausted my brother and sister-in-law get from raising three young boys, and my biggest worry is getting my butt out of bed in the morning and getting to work. (Of course, some days that IS a huge challenge!)
There are other reasons for remaining childless--it is darned expensive-with hospital bills, feeding, clothing, and 18 years later college. There is the little matter of depression running in my family and worrying about a child inheriting it. I'm also afraid I have a bit of a gender bias--I would want a daughter so badly, despite numerous people saying how much easier boys are. I don't know why my preference would be a girl-maybe to make up for the fact that there are so many unwanted girls out there and more female babies are aborted than males? (FYI, I haven't actually researched that for sure, but when you have a ratio of 1.15 boys to girls to ratio in China and 1.13 boys to girls ratio in India, I think it's safe to say that more females are aborted than males. And this is progress? These are women's 'rights'? But I'm not going to go off on that rant again because our culture is so blind as to how the right to life movement is eerily similar to the abolition movement in the 19th century--I just hope that we wake up one of these days and see that what we're doing is child sacrifice.
On the positive side, I feel my maternal instincts come out when I'm caring for my bunnies. One of them, Tia, has a condition that requires her to bathed every couple of weeks or so. She puts up a fight. Lots of grunting and struggling when we have to catch her, and then the look on her face in the tub...she's very good at guilt trips! Today, our Coco bunny buried herself in a red blanket. When I got home from work I couldn't find her. Andy told me to look in the blanket, sure enough, she crawled out. Had to get a couple of pictures--she just looked so cute. So I guess I am a mother, in a way. Thanks for hearing my thoughts on parenthood or nonparenthood. We'll see what I come up with next post!
There are other reasons for remaining childless--it is darned expensive-with hospital bills, feeding, clothing, and 18 years later college. There is the little matter of depression running in my family and worrying about a child inheriting it. I'm also afraid I have a bit of a gender bias--I would want a daughter so badly, despite numerous people saying how much easier boys are. I don't know why my preference would be a girl-maybe to make up for the fact that there are so many unwanted girls out there and more female babies are aborted than males? (FYI, I haven't actually researched that for sure, but when you have a ratio of 1.15 boys to girls to ratio in China and 1.13 boys to girls ratio in India, I think it's safe to say that more females are aborted than males. And this is progress? These are women's 'rights'? But I'm not going to go off on that rant again because our culture is so blind as to how the right to life movement is eerily similar to the abolition movement in the 19th century--I just hope that we wake up one of these days and see that what we're doing is child sacrifice.
On the positive side, I feel my maternal instincts come out when I'm caring for my bunnies. One of them, Tia, has a condition that requires her to bathed every couple of weeks or so. She puts up a fight. Lots of grunting and struggling when we have to catch her, and then the look on her face in the tub...she's very good at guilt trips! Today, our Coco bunny buried herself in a red blanket. When I got home from work I couldn't find her. Andy told me to look in the blanket, sure enough, she crawled out. Had to get a couple of pictures--she just looked so cute. So I guess I am a mother, in a way. Thanks for hearing my thoughts on parenthood or nonparenthood. We'll see what I come up with next post!
Tuesday, March 29, 2016
Well, it's been a couple of years since I kept a blog. But something within me just can't resist the urge every once in a while to write about things I've been musing on. Lately I've been wondering exactly why my husband and I have decided against having children. Or, to be more accurate, lest some readers think I'm rethinking this decision, what factored into this decision and why I have never felt that biological clock ticking.
I think a number of things have happened that brought us to this point. The most obvious is that, at age 36, I would be older and would therefore have a riskier pregnancy. Also, I would be dealing with a teenager when I hit the age of fifty. Not so much.
Second, I am still waiting to get to the point where I officially feel like an adult, like I've got it all together. Still not there yet. When Andy and I first married, I thought, okay, as soon as I feel that I'm ready, we will do this. But guess what? I haven't felt that yet, though some would point out that there is no pop up thermometer to tell you that you're ready for parenthood the way there is to tell you that your turkey is cooked. I have yet to even get an inkling of readiness.
If I'm honest, I like my life the way it is. I like being able to go off and travel and not have to worry about too much, just the bunnies. And my rabbits usually aren't too much of an imposition on my parents. I like being able to read my five hundred books (slight exaggeration) and listen to my music. I like being able to laugh with Andy and enjoy his company.
Perhaps I'm selfish. But Andy and I feel decidedly unsuited to parenthood. I also feel that God has other plans for me. I almost feel a loud 'NO' go off in my head when I think about having kids. Something tells me that He's got something else in mind for me besides parenthood. What exactly it is yet, I don't know, but I try not to worry about--after all, Moses was 80 years old when he led the Israelites out of Egypt.
These thought to be continued. I don't know exactly where this blog is going to lead me, but I hope you'll enjoy the ride!
I think a number of things have happened that brought us to this point. The most obvious is that, at age 36, I would be older and would therefore have a riskier pregnancy. Also, I would be dealing with a teenager when I hit the age of fifty. Not so much.
Second, I am still waiting to get to the point where I officially feel like an adult, like I've got it all together. Still not there yet. When Andy and I first married, I thought, okay, as soon as I feel that I'm ready, we will do this. But guess what? I haven't felt that yet, though some would point out that there is no pop up thermometer to tell you that you're ready for parenthood the way there is to tell you that your turkey is cooked. I have yet to even get an inkling of readiness.
If I'm honest, I like my life the way it is. I like being able to go off and travel and not have to worry about too much, just the bunnies. And my rabbits usually aren't too much of an imposition on my parents. I like being able to read my five hundred books (slight exaggeration) and listen to my music. I like being able to laugh with Andy and enjoy his company.
Perhaps I'm selfish. But Andy and I feel decidedly unsuited to parenthood. I also feel that God has other plans for me. I almost feel a loud 'NO' go off in my head when I think about having kids. Something tells me that He's got something else in mind for me besides parenthood. What exactly it is yet, I don't know, but I try not to worry about--after all, Moses was 80 years old when he led the Israelites out of Egypt.
These thought to be continued. I don't know exactly where this blog is going to lead me, but I hope you'll enjoy the ride!
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